the Bitter and the Breather

There's some kind of wonderful in just being. Not performing for the attention of others. Not putting on a persona to please the crowd. Not projecting a version of "you" that's not so "you". I mean- at the end of the day, we've all done it. Because who doesn't want to be liked? But in the same sense...we all know that it's not right. And I think, speaking for myself, I sometimes wish I wouldn't have done this during my teenage years. 

A people pleaser by nature- I just wanted to be what everyone wanted. I felt like- if I couldn't make myself happy, at least I could make someone else happy...and then, seeing them happy would somehow fulfill me? Thankfully, I grew out of this mind set. I grew up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not technically a grown up- I'll never claim that title. I just learned some stuff. But there comes a point in life when you have to stop pleasing others just to please yourself. There comes a time when you are alone, and the only person left is the you- you've been ignoring. I think that's when self-exploration begins. It's so beautiful. I remember the process of getting to know me. And what I like.  What's important to me, what I believe, and who I am. See, your parents or role models kind of set a tone in life. They show you the world through their eyes- it's how we learn. Then, before we know it, we are a role model to someone else. And it's time to view the world through our eyes. Sometimes we see things we didn't originally plan to. It's this great, big, complex thing. I call it a thing, because there are no words. If you're lucky enough- you know exactly what I'm talking about. 

No, you didn't wave to yourself in the mirror and say "hello". You just realized one day that you have a voice of your own. And it matters. That's where honesty comes in. That's where we learn what we need and how to get it. 

If you've had the pleasure of encountering an elderly individual you probably are familiar with two types: The Bitter and the Breather. The bitter is the person who finds something wrong with everything and everyone. They didn't juice life to its fullest and now- resentment and anger have become a cozy place to call home. 

On the opposite end, we have the breather. This is an older individual who's spirit is so carefree and gentle it almost seems tangible. The aura exuded by this person is so breathtaking we often wish it was contagious. They are patient, kind, and wise. Though life has placed a few blunders along the way, they remain happy and bright. Gosh, they are so honest-- it really is something. These are the 80-somethings that still explore. That aren't afraid to go on a roller coaster or step on a surf board. These are the ones who dive into the most ridiculous activities, regardless of comments like-- "But you're too old! That's not good for your health!." 

I don't know about you- but I want to be a breather. In fact, that's my ultimate life goal. There is always going to be bad news. You might even lose a few during the journey. But that's okay. I don't want to be a bitter person. It's a useless way to expend energy. Hate. Anger. Resentment. Hurt. > all have one thing in common: they are so, totally lonely. 

I choose to breathe. In an out. Everyday. Constantly reminding myself: The purpose of life is not to loathe. The purpose of life is to adventure.