Before I begin, I want to make it clear that this letter isn't for one man in particular. It's for the men who have broken the hearts of my besties over the years. It's for the women who felt used, unrecognized, and worthless at the hands of men who didn't even deserve them in the first place.
To these men I say: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you felt the need to let go of such a beautiful soul. Because, trust me, these women are one of a kind. And you're right...it does take two. But it doesn't take broken promises or sharp words. I'm sorry you let her go. Because I know she is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Her heart is pure. And even though you have thrown dust on a shining star-- believe me-- she will continue to shine.
I'm sorry you weren't there when she was drowning in a sea of her own tears. Wondering what she did. Wondering what she could have done. Defending your honor with passion. Holding on to every piece of what you shared...because she truly, honestly loved you. And you hurt her. How dare you?
I'm sorry you couldn't feel her pain. It was excruciating. While you were tantalizing her with your games, I'm sorry you couldn't see the hope in her eyes...every time you sent her a message. Even though you were gone...that small ounce of wishful thinking kept her praying for a miracle.
The thing is- I know she is strong. I know she will be okay. I know that it was true love that kept her fighting. She fought tirelessly for that love. I'll forever admire her because of it. I'm sorry you couldn't respect her passion. Instead, you felt the need to deplete her of happiness. To drag her along. And I can't begin to tell you how wrong that is.
But, while you are busy figuring out your life and going out with friends, smiling, and trying to pretend life is better without her...it's going to hit you one day. You will feel like something is missing. And it's going to be her. You will catch yourself thinking about what she may be doing in a particular moment on a beautiful day. You will have the urge to contact her. And you will say all of the things people are supposed to say when they're sorry. But it will be too late. Because, while you were "figuring things out"... so was she.
First, she was devastated. Then, she wasn't. In some powerful way-- the heart break you caused ended up being a healing force in her life. Because that devastation led her to self-acceptance, independence, and realizing how worth it she truly is. Realizing how worth it you really aren't.
Most of all, I feel sorry for you. No matter how many bars you tread through, no matter how many adventures you embark on, and no matter how many dates you book -- you're never going to find anyone else like my best friend. And that's such a shame. Because she ROCKS!
I don't hate you. I just hate what you did to her.
Respectfully,
her BFF.
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